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30 Comments so far:

1. Margaret on May 7, 2007 2:47 pm

   found this site by accident. Hope. Just a little hope. My husband is bipolar. He is now in a state of catatonia. We have been married for 45 years. First diagnosed as being bipolar in 1993. Cerebral Hemorrhage at the age of 52. I am so frustrated. Running into brick wall. The system, no answers. I writing this now because I feel so overwhelmed, maybe in a little while, I
   ll regret writing. for now I am in agony/

2. Diana on May 19, 2007 3:19 pm

   I accidentally came across bp Magazine and the full article “When conception is the question” at my doctor’s office last week. I have a 5 year old and my diagnosis changed from post partum depression to bp when my child was 6 months old because antidepressant after antidepressant did no good. In fact, they made things worse!

   Because of bp, deciding whether or not to have a second child has been a difficult one. I found your article to be “fair” in that it explored both sides of the issue. I also thank you for offering hope and valuable advice on how to cope with pregnancy, motherhood, and bp.

   Discovering your magazine was a happy accident. I look forward to reading more!

3. Charlene on May 20, 2007 9:19 pm

   I had forgotten about this site. I was cleaning out my desk draws and found the address ona piece of paper. I will pass it along.

4. denise on June 6, 2007 7:20 pm

   hi, i’m really tired of being told to take pills, i’ve been trying different medications, and doctors for about 8 years.. i don’t think medication works for me.. i really wish western med, would try considering new options, and perspectives, like eastern.. eastern beliefs seem to be based more on inner strength.. and finding inner piece.. i think knowledge is understanding.. tired of bein labeled crazy, and tired of stigmas.. there should be more options.. a lot of great people who made important changes were manic depressive., or depressed.. like Lincoln, and i think people forget that, that depression brought out great new ways of thinking and ideas, a perspective, that “normal ” people can’t quiet grasp.. and should not be overlooked, or pacified.
   thanks,
   denise

5. Kathleen on June 17, 2007 6:23 pm

   Denise I hear you. I am tired of all these drugs I take and then try another because one makes me gain weight and then an antidepressent to help lose weight then stop taking that cause of its bad effects and then getting terrible migraines. The depression comes and goes, I have to take something–I can’t function without something but I wish SO BADLY that I could go back to the way I was before I was bipolar and be “normal”. If you can function and be somewhat happy without pills by using other techniques, massage, yoga, exercise, good diet, meditation, do it. Kathleen

6. Monique on June 18, 2007 7:18 pm

   I heard about this magazine from an article printed in the Saturday Evening Post. I am 27 and was diagnosed in 2004 with bp. I currently have two beautiful daughters ages 2 and 5. I am 4 1/2 mths pregnant. I honestly wasn’t going to have anymore children but was faced with the now or never option by our doctor to have anymore. My husband and I decided to have one more. I had to be weaned off of my anti anxiety pills for I think it took 2 mths. Then just wait till I got pregnant to decide if the rest of the meds were gonna go. Well, the day the pregnancy was confirmed I had to stop everything. That means 2 anti depressants, my mood stabilizer and my sleeping pills. I had withdrawal symptoms along with morning sickness for the first couple of months but I am doing alot better now. I am tired alot and I get irritated alot but otherwise I feel better than I have felt since I was diagnosed with bp. Because I feel like myself again. I actually can feel emotions again!! I do get teary eyed often but I deal with it. My last pregnancy was about the same. And I can’t wait to hold my new baby in November. I know I will be put on my meds right away again and there is no chance of me ever nursing. And I know the risk of my kids being bp is higher however, I would never take back my decision to have children. My life is complete with them and whatever challenges lay ahead for my family we will battle head on. So, I guess for me the decision wasn’t a very hard one to make. My oldest however, has been seen by psychiatrists already and was diagnosed with a transitional disorder. We are on the lookout with our children for any type of mood changes or anything like that so, that if there is something wrong or something that goes wrong in the future we can get help immediately.

   Monique

7. Zanne Isak on June 19, 2007 2:33 am

   The article on BP and pregnancy was excellent.

   But how about an article on what to do once the baby is born? My first significant bipolar episode, the one that finally resulted in diagnosis, was triggered by my third pregnancy. It wasn’t a matter of deciding whether to have children in the face of having bipolar disorder; it was a matter of facing bipolar disorder while still trying to parent three kids. How about some help for those of us who are trying to cope with our disorder and still be good parents in the midst of our mental chaos?

8. Monique on June 19, 2007 7:31 pm

   I hear what you are saying about trying to be good parents while facing the difficulties of being bp. I feel like I am a horrible mom sometimes because I’m so irritated or because I am so tired from either being depressed or because of the medications I have to take because I am so irritated. I ask myself time and time again “Am I a good mom”, and ” how is this going to affect my children seeing me like this?” It is hard to be a mom who is bp when your meds are constantly being changed or the doses changed. I wish there were better answers to help me and to in turn help my children. They are so young I don’t think they should have to see their mom taking pills all the time or not able to get off the couch because I am so depressed. It would help to have something written about what mothers have to face day to day. And a little advice on how to cope.

9. Girl on June 25, 2007 4:03 am

   I think you should do a piece on those of us who are simply stuck or are in the midst of getting “unstuck”. Those of us who are on SSDI, just out of hospital, trying to get back to school, trying to find a job again…

   It’s really hard to figure out what to do. Those of us who don’t have parents to fall back on are terrified. The price of medication is so high that it can become food or sanity for choices. And how do you hold a job and to pay for the meds that keep you sane if having that job stresses you to the point of breaking?

   Or do a story on students with bipolar and how they are dealing/have dealt with their disorder. How it has effected things.

   I like this magazine and haven’t been able to read all of the available articles. But it seems like it is one more step to breaking through the stigma.

10. William on June 26, 2007 5:44 pm

    I resonate to the words of Denise, who wonders about alternative treatments including Eastern Philosophy and practices… I have spoken with my pschiatrist about this very issue. Most of our modern Western medicine is built on what is called a “positivistic” medical model where there is sickness, the doctor or researchers try and isolate the variables and use medication as a means to manage the illness. In some cases this has been a lifesaver for many of us. However, we do need to look at other alternatives. Writers James Hollis and Thomas Moore describe how looking into ourselves and seeing our connections to others can help us, too. Jungian psychology/depth psychology may help. My sense is that we need to use psychotherapy, medicine and alternative ways until we can see how well we can ultimately manage our illness. I wasn’t diagnosed until two years ago and I am 57. I suspect both of my parents may have a variety of bipolar or other mood disorder, yet they had seven children, and I so, far, seem to be the only one with the disorder. My wife and I have only one child, who is studying in graduate school and has been diagnosed with a possible Bipolar II diagnosis, so he is working with his doctor. As far as having children again, I would never hesitate. While Bipolar has many challenges, it provides me with an artistic way of knowing and I am me, and know myself much better because of it.

    The key is early diagnosis, awareness, treatment and maintaining a healthy lifestyle!

    William

11. Luis Raul Alicea on June 28, 2007 9:07 pm

    I have been diagnosed with Bipolar I since October 1997. I was a junior in college and I was put in a Four Winds Psychiatric Hospital, I was able to participate in various group therapy and I am in the process on going to graduate school at Teacher College Columbia University where I am pursing my master of arts in secondary science education. I look forward in dealing with my condition and be able to graduate.
    Thank you
    Luis

12. Anni on June 28, 2007 10:06 pm

    I didn’t percieve the severity of my BP when I had my children. Now that they are older I can see the same problems starting with them. In fact my oldest,at 14, was diagnosed BP recently and has had to hop on the medication merry-go-round. Sometimes I have great guilt that I created a life that will suffer as I have. Then part of me realizes that being BP myself is an asset to her. She can see me taking care of my problems, taking meds, etc and learn now how important maintenance of the illness is. So theres hope.

13. john on June 29, 2007 1:38 am

    I am tired of the way friends and co-workers view mental illness. I have been told by some people of my church not to share my bipolar disorder with other members because they won’t understand. I need understanding and support from others beside my family.

14. Annette on July 3, 2007 11:01 pm

    Yes, we all need understanding and support. I have found one of the best things I can do for myself is to end any “toxic” relationships I have and to concentrate on those who do and/or want to learn and understand what bipolar disorder is all about. I struggle every day to find a “balance” in dealing with this condition. I am 53 years old and was (finally!) properly diagnosed a few years ago. I can definitely look back and see how this disorder has affected my life in so many areas. One of the “biggies” was raising my two precious daughters. They, too, bore the brunt of my mood swings and, if I knew then what I know now, I think their growing up years might have been more stable…..at least I hope so. As it is, they’ve both grown into wonderful young women and have a compassion and empathy that most people twice their age will never reach. If I had to do it all over again, I would not hesitate to be a Mom but now that I do know bipolar disorder is part of my life, I am very much aware of and look for symptoms/signs of mental illness in not only my children, but my grandchildren, as well. I am grateful for a doctor who understands my individuality and treats me accordingly. We are “tweaking” my meds as we go along…..it is definintely a work in progress. On my down days I try to read positive/inspirational articles and on my up days I try to make myself stop for a minute so I can see if I’m breathing — no kidding! When I’m manic I take really shallow breaths. On all days I try to eat healthy and get outside for a walk…..it helps to me find my center. I know this all sounds pretty much SOP, but it works most of the time for me. I still have the occasional “break through” days where I just don’t think I can take it for one more minute, but I have faith in myself that I can…..and so I do……..one baby step at a time. Safe journey to us all.

15. HB on July 11, 2007 1:25 am

    I was not diagnosed until my children were 5yr. and 8yr. old. The episode was severe and
    brought on by an antidepressent, Prosac, which
    put me in drug-induced mania. I had to be hospitalized and it tramatized the entire family. I guess there are some who might say how unfortunate it was that my children had to
    “suffer” the tragedy of having a mother with such an awful mental illness, but my children
    now 20yr and 23 yr old feel quite differently.
    Since my diagnosis my children have more than ever remained the purpose of my life. My desire to work with my psychiatricist, take
    my medication, dialog with my therapist, exercise everyday, eat a healthy diet, survive the debilitating lows of my depressions, struggle through the awful surging of my manias is always motivated by the fact that I want to be as well as I can be in order to be there for my kids. They are most certainly the best gifts God ever gave me. Because I am open with my children, and they have taken the time and effort to understand my disease, they know me no other way and accept it. Only a few months ago, after a year long battle with the worst
    depression I have experienced, I commented to
    my daughter how awful it must be to have me
    as her mother. Her answer shocked me. “You
    are not responsible for your disease, Mom. I know the difference between you and the bipolar. This will pass. I wouldn’t want any one else in the world to be my mother.” That
    response gave me a glimmer of hope. For days,
    I wanted my life to end, I felt so worthless, and without any hope for the future. I truly believe I was spiraling so low and so close to suicide, that it was her words that got me up and out of that black hole. When I spoke to my son, he responded, “Don’t you realize our life would be hell without you.”
    He is not a very demonstrative guy, so again, it was such an eye-opener, that my kids had in the early adulthood become my “rock”, my greatest support.
    I would never want to deny a bipolar individual the joys, struggles, happiness, sorrows and challenges of parenthood. No
    one is trained to become a parent, there is
    no manual,and no one can be “perfect” at it.
    Like everything else, taking it one day at a time,doing one’s best and seeking help is the most you can ask for, regardless of your situation. The very thing you are considering denying a couple, may be the very thing that provides them with hope and purpose.

16. Anne on July 11, 2007 1:38 pm

    I am writing for the first time (outloud). This is such an interesting question that I brought it up as a topic to my mother and to my support group.

    Although,I can only share my feelings (and only pieces at that), I am thankful to BPmag and its readers for the topics and dialogues that ensued.:

    My family and outer family has dealt with mental health issues for generations. My childhood was very tramatic and unstable. My support system was transient due to many moves and maniac cycles from both parents. My dad was angry and abusive and occassionally sought comfort in alcohol as a means of a “poor mans prozac”. Funny, my dad and family would never put alcohol at the top of his problems since it actually calmed him or thankfully preoccupied him.

    I was afraid of my family, most of my life, because of the rage, depression, and then deep moments of passion that came out in bursts. In the beginning, my siblings became my island until they, too, started showing signs in early teenage years of unstability. My sister would have extreme moods swings: once flinging up a board game in the air because my brothers questioned the legality of move(s). Or when my sister locked us kids on the balcony and left us there because she was mad at my brother. On the otherhand, one brother can be described as having severe withdrawls even though he was all conference football and varsity wrestler and even all state shotputter. My other brother was the behaviorial nightmare and was probably the most gifted. He was born with a basketball in one hand. I was the baby of four. My sport was cross country which I made varsity my freshman year at the first practice. With all of our talents and issues, all of us graduated high school (well, one got a GED.. dropped out because of behaviorial problems.) To give an example of how much my mother moved me, I attended three high schools due to her timed heightened illiness which was more in the depressive and isolation stage. I felt so alone and still do.

    My parents seperated when I was fourteen. Although my mother didnt seek regular treatment until much later in life, I still struggled to have any consistency with either of them. They have much guilt and that often gets in the way of of our occassional visits. I try to convince my mother to live in the present and not the past put that is where she is most comfortable with…for now.
    I think the parents should believe their children and make peace with themselves; But I know that even though that is their own journey that they have to go on…it just feels like yet another process my mother has to take that is closed off from me.

    My journey in adulthood was done alone. My sister and brother sought marriage and other brother took off to Floridia. My dad lived with his girlfriend and her family. My mother checked out of any societal participation when I was about sixteen-seventeen. The next three years were the hardest of my childhood. I was becoming aware that I may not have a “normal family, life, or base” like my cohorts, and did that matter? I was the soul income provider. I lived like that for as long as I could and was forced with the biggest decision of my life…was I my mother’s keeper!!! More importantly, was I my mother’s healer…

    I was twenty eight and in honors at college when I was diagnosed with bp in my college years and was the first to bring up my mental illness. My mother and sister both welcome the “terms” as some sensensical explaination but still struggled to make sense of their own personal recovery. My mother hopped around to sibling after sibling until finally seeking refugee in SSI. My sister was house bound for nine years and on the brink of divorce. Both of my brothers and father will not talk about any sort of “dehabilitating problem” that could rule them. One brother is married still to his high school sweetheart and has four beautiful children. While the other brother and my father still struggle with jobs, staying married, and staying in one spot. It is like looking at my childhood all over.

    With all this in consideration, I love my family and its history like no other. Despite my lows that are paralyzing and my highs of maniac truimphs pushing out, I am ALONE. I ache for a “home” or to be held within a relationship of trust.

    I have put my partners at arms length and sought out people that needed healing or hiding. I am in my late thirties and am hoping that one day I MAY learn how to MANAGE moments of standing still long enough to love me for who I am and to vibrate at a “stable” frequency so I am NOT shook to the core and then left so empty only to start over..

    Finally, to answer the questions of whether or not genetics should be past on…Do I wish I wasn’t given genetic triggers? Do I wish I stayed in one house, or town, or state as a child? Do I wish I had only four jobs? twelve jobs? or just twenty five? Yes!!!
    I do wish I was given the fundamentals of food, shelter, and love on a consistant bases; But I was given birth and have met some wonderful people (including my parents)and have seen some wonderful things! And most importantly, I have been a wonderful and giving person. I have been told that by many who have taken the time to walk along side me…saying that I have made a difference in their life. I guess,that is the only answer an individual or parent really needs!?

17. Pam on August 7, 2007 9:09 pm

    I am a Psychiatric Social Worker and also have BP. My husband and I agreed early on in our marriage not to have children. BP runs deep in my family along with the other casualties that often go a long with it such as alcoholism. I have worked in my current field for over 25 years and have seen many changes. Along with seeing many that are yet to come. I work with people who have the very most severe mental illnesses such as Schizophrenia and Bipolar. I have seen, over the years, my clients who had children with no mental illness and those who do. It seems like a crap shoot and I didn’t want to pass my illness on to another human being. We believe my husband and I, it was the right choice for us and I have never regretted not having children. It has been a challenge to work in my field having Bipolar, I can’t begin what it would be like to have a healthy child, let alone one who suffers from a mental illness.
    I want to commend everyone who takes this issue very seriously, no matter what you decide. Too often people get caught up in the attention of having a baby and lose sight of what is important.
    Pam

18. Judy on August 11, 2007 10:34 pm

    I want to share my experiences of having my 3 children in the hopes of providing information and encouragement to those couples who want to have children. There is a way and hope. I am 58 years old, had my first episode in ‘67 before the diagnosis of bp existed. I am bipolar I and chronic PTSD (most of us have something else besides bp).
    I married at 21: my husband and I were extremely naive. I was on no meds at the time. My first pregnancy was my most wonderful enjoyable, healthy one of the three. Until a week before my daughter was born I had a violently psychotic manic episode. In 1971, she was born with neonatal depression, (the drugs given to me before delivery were in her system for a couple of days. No reflexes, the family rumor was that she was borm “dead”. BUT, she came out of it and was normal and very healthy. I was in and out of psych hospitals for six months. My wonderful mother-in-law (mother of 9), took care of her, and taught me how to care for her too. I recovered in one year.
    Four years later, we decided to have another baby. My second baby was born in 1976. I was fine with my bp, was allowed to take a low dose of an older antipschotic med throughout my pregnancy until I weaned her at 10 months. I stopped my med with my doctor’s ok and then had an episode. My family knew what it was and I was hospitalized right away. I recovered in about 2 years, on several more meds.
    Five years later, I was diagnosed bp. I had the label of schizophrenia for 25 years. The new doctor tapered me off my antipsychotics and put me on a mood stabilizer. A year later I left my husband due to physical abuse.
    I was put on more meds, after a very bad motorcyle accident in ‘84. I remarried 3 years later, at age 38, planning to have another baby with my new husband. My third, his first. His family had no apparent psych history then. I found a doctor (very important) who agreed willingly to work with us. It took 5 months to taper off my meds. No work, I read, watched videos, stayed in one part of the house most of the time, I had to feel safe, had an intense fear of psychotic symptoms. Note: before I got pregnant, to stave off an episode, I hiked every day 2 hours with my husband. This is the only way I could prevent an episode. At 43, in 1992, I gave birth to my now 15 year old son. I tried to nurse him. This was my mistake. I had an episode, put on meds, treated at home. (This was impossible years ago.)
    To summarize, I have 3 children: 2 by my first marriage, ages 31 and 35. Neither one has bp. Between them, 5 children, ages 6 thru 1. All healthy.
    My son, has bp. His dad’s sibilings have mood disorders. Our son’s form of bp, child/adolesent is different. Lots of depression, rages. He is on meds, but stable now.
    I would never never never never change my decision to have children. My daughters are professionals, my son is creative, giving, loving, absolutely the love of my life. He and I have the same doctor, who is available 24/7. This illness is devastating. The cost of treating it is astronomical.
    Education is the most important element of treatment, and a huge factor in access to treatment. Learn every thing you can, and don’t stop.
    Yes, I have had a hard life, and I still have to deal with my bp every day.
    Feel welcome to comment on what I have shared and I will respond.
    There is so much to say, I could not fit it all in. Thank you for reading. j

19. Marjorie on August 20, 2007 5:43 am

    Like most who have responded, I was not aware that I even had bipolar when I had my children. But now, I have two very wonderful, beautiful and highly intelligent girls, ages 9 and 13, and who just blew away the “advanced” scores on their achievement tests! My younger daughter was diagnosed with ADD last year and my older daughter had a bout with serious depression and suicidal thoughts at age 9, for which she was temporarily placed on antidepressants. She has been taken off of her antidepressants and is doing wonderfully now! No depression in sight for over a year.

    I, on the other hand, have had a rough time with my BP in that I was misdiagnosed several times beginning thirteen years ago, running the gambit from ‘major depression’ to ‘personality disorder’ to, finally, ‘bipolar I with psychotic episodes’. I have suffered from depression since birth. I was what my mother called “a moody baby”, but she never offered to get me some help. I have survived three of my own suicide attempts and I have lost both of my brothers to suicide. I say this not for sympathy, but to show just how hard I have fought this disorder and how useless my parents were in this fight. After having fought so hard for forty one years, I feel I’m better equipped to deal with a mental illness situation such as this than are the majority of parents. My children will be able to live happier, more productive lives because of my past experiences of and education on bipolar disorder and my ability to recognize symptoms of mental illness and to get them help quickly.

    In essence, if I am trying to decide whether or not to have children, should it not have more to do with being emotionally capable of taking on the responsibility of raising a child, rather than what I might pass on to the child? If we, as a human race, worried too much about what we might pass on to our children, we would die as a race because I just don’t think any of us would want our children to suffer they way we have. The upside to this whole question, however, is that they don’t have to. We are more informed than most other parents. If you want a survival of the fittest scenario, take another look at my story, or any other story of a person who suffers from Bipolar. It’s our strength, not any type of weakness, that keeps us alive through all of the crap bipolar throws at us. That’s something good that we can pass on to our children.

    Either way, I have brought into this world two very bright, creative and talented children. Of that I can never be ashamed or regretful. My 13 year old is a wonderful artist and author and wants to be an interior decorator when she grows up. She has a wonderful sense of style and even sets some of the trends at her middle school. My 9 year old is very athletic and competitive and loves to win, especially against the boys, and normally does. She loves to spend hours drawing Chinese dragons and does so very well.

20. Christine on October 3, 2007 12:09 pm

    I have been a paralegal now going on 3 years. Recently I have been diagnosed as Bipolar II. I am really having a hard time doing my job, and I am very scared. I can not concentrate, can not comprehend without freaking out now. Please help. I am taking 300 Milligrams of Lamical. Christine

21. Kate on October 16, 2007 4:41 pm

    Hoping to connect to other families and friends of those with bipolar disorder. I would like to do a blog book tour for my book “Mommy I’m Still In Here”, http://www.behlerpublications.com/titles-mclaughlin.shtml to be released Feb 2008. Perhaps we can do a stop here. I encourage action, acceptance, and hope,
    Kate

22. Linda on October 27, 2007 4:29 am

    This is such a tender subject. Always wanted kids but never seemed the right time to do it. My husband and I would go back and forth of it. One of us would say yes, the other no. Then came the time I had my first break, mania over depression pill, = a clue, bipolst

    . So upsetting, one minute sane, the next crazy. Had to go to a mental hospital , zoloft had triggered the illnes = bp.
    Then made the big decision just not possible to have a child though I think we would have been great parents. Bottom line, didn’t want to pass the disease on anymore.

23. Dena on October 29, 2007 9:43 am

    Pam
    I’m with you- my husband & I are childless by choice. Alcoholism & mental illness run deep in my family & his. Like you said, I can’t imagine the responsibility of having a healthy child, much less a child with mental illness. It’s all I can do to keep myself fed, clothed & healthy!
    -Dena

24. Laurie Paulson on November 9, 2007 1:14 pm

    To Pam and Dena—those were my sentiments exactly–I was married for 20 years–childless—so I gave up—on everything–including my purpose for life–thought God was punishing me–got on a pity pot… then self-destruction with alcohol truly wanting to die just to escape the heartwrenching pain! Then because of DUI-during my political run for local office–I woke up to the fact of being Bipolar and an alcoholic–of which my husband believed neither –so I had to choose between my sobriety=sanity and my marriage= alcoholic marriage–of which my husband ignored and deniedmy family then did and intervention,I got divorced and then met an unbelievably generous, soulmate, best friend man with his own alcoholic demons–we got married–I now was a mom=stepmom to his two beautiful boys Ben and Tim—and then lo and behold along came little Jakob–my MIRACLE baby ( and needless to say– spoiled by everyone–I too was very scared to pass my mental illness to this beautiful child—still am and think always will be–but as my pdoc reminded me–he is our HOPE for this most God-awful illness! Thank you for listening to my ramblings–but I just had to respond!

    Love, Laurie and please don’t give up—I’ve never known such joy in my 43 years of life as being a Mom and Step-Mom–it is such a privilege!

25. cris on January 28, 2008 9:14 pm

    I have 1 child, was diagnosed several things until now which they believe is bipolar.I have hallucinated and heard voices which adds more problems to the illness.I love my child and wouldn’t change it for anything.My husband and I were considering having another baby, but have decided it would not be a good choice for us.There would be hard times trying to care for the child if I were not well, I have no family around to help.We even thought we could hire someone to help, but child care is so expensive.Everyone has to decide for themselves.I have a friend who is bipolar and is having a second child.She takes meds and is doing well, and wanted this pregnacy to happen.So it is a personal choice, and everyones bipolar is different, and the support system that they have in place.So best of luck to all, and God Bless.

26. Margaret Mann on February 7, 2008 2:18 pm

    I was officially diagnosed with bipolar in 2003. I was put on Lamictal shortly after that. I was already on Prosac at the time and that proved to be a bad combination. So I went off the Prosac and went on Lithium. Then in 2005, my husband and I decided that we wanted to start a family. We did research for 2 years - talked extensively with my psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and OB/GYN. I was initially more concerned about my future child being bipolar in the future than I was about the pregnancy. But with the help of my “team” of doctors, I focused on myself and the pregnancy. I decided to go off the Lithium and stay on the Lamictal. In Jan 2007, I became pregnant. I went to a maternal fetal specialist every month as I was “high risk” due to being on Lamictal. I also went to a pediatric cardiologist very early on to see if there were any heart defects in the fetus. Thank God there were not. I continued on the Lamictal throughout my entire pregnany. I choose to have an amniocentisis due to being on Lamictal. Thank God those results didn’t show any genetic defects/abnormalities. I had a beautiful baby girl on 10/26/07. I chose not to breastfeed as I am still on Lamictal.

    My mood was good for the most part during the pregnancy. I like to thank the “pregnancy” hormones for that. But trust me, I did have mood swings which were a normal part of me anyway.

    I have had a lot of ups and downs since the pregnancy/birth of my daughter. I stayed on Lamictal during pregnancy becasue of it was the less of 2 evils(Lithium). I knew not being on any meds during my pregnancy was not an option. So now I am going to revisit my meds with my psychiatrist.

    I am still very concerned about the probability of my daughter being bipolar in the future. But I am still working on getting my own coping stategies and know that I will be able to face this if God forbid the time ever comes. I will NOT sweep her problems under the carpet like my parents did mine. I have an extremely supportive husband who, unfortunatley, knows all too well about mood swings. I am choosing not to have another child because of my diagnosis of bipolar and the genetic possibility of bipolar. I just feel so blessed to have this daughter and will roll with the punches when she gets older.

27. olevra franklin on February 24, 2008 10:43 pm

    HI I AM 37 YRS OLD AND I HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITIES AND BIPLOR I’V BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS. MY HUSBAND HAS TEATED ON ME DUE TO THAT I AM NOT CHAGLLENCE TO HIMM THE WOMEM IS SMARTER THEN ME AND SAYS THE RIGHT WORDS TO HIM HE SAID THAT I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT WORDS TO HIM ,SO HE CALLS HER TO TAKLE TOO . I CRIED . I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO . SOME TIMMES I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN .WE HAVE SON TOGREATHER THAT HAS ADHD . I AM SAD EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE MY HUSBAND WILL NEVER BE HAPPY.

28. anne on May 29, 2008 10:38 pm

    I think this is a really important topic. However I’m not sure if it was totally balanced. Most of the article was about the difficulties but also the blessings children and pregnancy bring of which I am sure there are many. I do believe however that although a personal choice the stories you gave us do not really offer us a true picture without knowing the severity of illness in the person conceiving.
    Most of the comments in the comment box were from people who had children and of course would not change that. But I think a more comprehansive article dealing with the negatives of this issue are needed. going off meds, sleep deprivation, stress on body, genetic inheritence of the illness, and the fact that growing up with a potentially sick parent would be hard even on the most well balanced kids etc.
    I personally have chosen not to have children after a lot of thought as I always thought growing up I’d have half a dozen, but with the severity of my illness and the fact that I now, for the first time in 8 years have a semblence of stability I am not ready to give that up. And although I have come to peace with the journey I have been sent on, I could never bring a child into the world knowing that they may have to take the same one. In my life I’m going to be an awesome aunt to all the potential neices and nephews I might one day have.

    I’d love to see an article about the choice to remain childless and how that is a hard decision to make, but also a hard decision for people around you and society to accept.

29. Sarah on June 20, 2008 7:49 pm

    Hi Everyone. I strongly agree that the article was fantastic. However, a follow-up on having manic-epressive illness and a new baby at home would also be very helpful. This is a time of huge presure when new moms are at great risk, especially if they went off their meds while pregnant. There is so much misinformation online - please BP Magazine - keep printing these useful, constructive stories full of reliable information.

30. chato on September 17, 2008 7:00 pm

    I’m sending this link to a friend… thx

    Chato’s Cartoons for Mental Health
    http://mentalhealthhumor.today.com/